I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
