Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
