I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
