what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
