I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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