What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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