Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we made out on top of his cat.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
