New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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