Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
