Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
