Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize