There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize