Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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