But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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