hell yes lets make some ravioli
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
