why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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