Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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