Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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