didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
