Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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