she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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