She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
