It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
two words...techno handjob
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
