Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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