I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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