Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
