my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have tasted many bathrooms
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
