i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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