Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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