never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
