the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize