About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
