The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
