we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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