all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
