if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
false alarm, still single
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
