it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
last night I used snow as a chaser
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
