im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
