this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
