i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
