How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
