whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
