Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
