she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So much Jack, so little girl.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
