How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
