Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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