I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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