we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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