I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
as a side note pls kill me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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