If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
