chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
