We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
