I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
