so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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