I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Randomize
