Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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