Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
