when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize