Well apparently he's into motor boating.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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