Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
