you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize