how can u be prego again
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
