in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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