Whats the glycemic index on semen?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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