Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
