his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
