i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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