Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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