Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
