Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
