1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
