Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Girls should come with a carfax report
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
