"it" just moved
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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