What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
