i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
