Sry I called you an 8
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
