I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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