I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
