I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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