that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
