it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize