I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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