bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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