some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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