Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
